


The Bus Going Everywhere

by Sexycanofsoup



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 07:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2339780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sexycanofsoup/pseuds/Sexycanofsoup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bertholdt doesn't know why he chooses to get on that bus, but he does know that the pull to be on it is too strong to ignore. It only takes one look at the blonde's eyes for everything to come rushing back--everything from their past life including his memory of the man's death. He isn't prepared for the memories, or a love that could burn strong despite any boundaries of time or space, but he does know that he isn't going to let go for anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bus Going Everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> To nene because every time I think of Reibert I think of her.

The bus going everywhere:

 

Bertholdt didn’t usually look into the buses as they passed. He had no reason to. If it was his bus, he got on, and that was the end of it. He had no interest in the strangers on the bus. He had trouble taking enough interest in the people he regularly interacted with—he couldn’t spare the effort to be interested in others who didn’t matter as well.

So Bertholdt didn’t know why he’d looked up, but he had. And when he did, he raced forward. The bus had been about to pull away, but Bertholdt quickly raced to the doors, yanking out his bus pass as he did so. With an annoyed look, the driver opened the doors once more, and allowed Bertholdt to stumble on.

This wasn’t the bus that would take him home. He didn’t know where this bus went, never having taken it before—never even having had the slightest interest in finding out. And yet, when he’d seen the back of that head, he’d felt that if he didn’t get on this bus he’d miss the most important thing that would ever happen to him.

He didn’t know why the back of the head he’d seen when he was looking through the bus window seemed so familiar to him. Bertholdt didn’t know many people so there was practically zero chance he would know this random guy on the bus. That’s what his logic had told him, and yet, here he was, illogically standing in the wrong bus.

The driver heaved the doors shut, and with a jerk, began to move the bus forward. Bertholdt wasn’t ready for the sudden motion, and stumbled forward. Thankfully he managed to grab onto the bar near  the stairs before he could crack his head open on anything. But he didn’t feel the wave of irritation he would have normally felt after such an incident. The sense of urgency spearing him through his stomach was too great—something that only grew stronger by the second.

He barely remembered to use his bus pass, but when he did, he stuffed it through the slot, impatient. When it was returned to him he stuffed it carelessly back into his pocket, his mind already having forgotten it. He turned toward the bus’s passengers. There was the usual random conglomeration of faces: some old, some young, some large, some small. Bertholdt’s eyes flicked over them without recognition or much attention. He already knew who he was looking for. Someone in the back on one of the horizontal benches. Thankfully the bus wasn’t too full, so Bertholdt was able to push down the bus aisle almost effortlessly. He slid around one woman who was standing, barely squeaking by with the added width of his school bag, but soon he was past, and there were no more obstacles.

His steps were quick, and in a few moments, despite the jolting and unsteadiness of the bus, he was there.

He stopped in front of the man—a muscular blonde in a white button down that had the top button flipped open, as well as a pair of dark slacks. He was clearly older than Bertholdt, looking in the range of 24/25 as opposed to Bertholdt’s 17 years. But the boy wasn’t trying to assess their age difference. He was trying to get a look at the man’s face—something that was proving difficult due to the newspaper the blonde was studying intensely that was spread open on his lap.

 _Look up_ Bertholdt inwardly commanded _Let me see your face._

But the man didn’t look up. He didn’t seem to feel the way Bertholdt’s eyes were boring into his bent neck.

_Look at me already._

Bertholdt didn’t know why he felt so desperate.

_Look at me!_

The feeling of familiarity was overwhelming, as was the feeling that this was somehow important. Astoundingly important.

There was no helping it. Even though Bertholdt was painfully shy and suffered from acute social anxiety, he opened his mouth to address the man.

“Excuse me.”

The words came out sounding hoarse. Bertholdt hadn’t spoken aloud in several hours, but his voice shouldn’t have sounded this rusty.

It was his nervousness. He could already feel sweat prickling his back. Soon his shirt would begin to stick to him. He always sweated too much. He hated it. On exam days and for social events he always wore two layers so that the one nearest his skin would hopefully absorb the sweat. It was rarely enough.

The words worked. The man tilted his head back to find the source of the voice.

His eyes met Bertholdt’s.

Beautiful golden eyes that perfectly matched his hair.

And then Bertholdt’s mind exploded.

Images. Thousands of them assaulted the forefront of his mind, demanding his attention, tearing at him. And all of them had something in common—the man in front of him.

Weapons, blood, trees, the images flipped through his mind at a frantic pace. All of them with the blonde who he recognized despite the often changing ages in the images. A young blonde with a gap toothed grin reaching for his hand. An older boy with a brutally short haircut laughing as he raced past him. A terrified man, the same age as the one before him now, running toward him and grabbing hold of him as he fell. Warm hands on his face, on his body, as the blonde looked at him in a way no one else ever had as he pulled him close into the pocket of his naked body, whispering words too quiet to be heard. And then red—red everywhere as he stumbled across the blonde in a field, hair matted with red and gore as he stared blankly up at the sky. His eyes empty, uncaring, his head severed from the rest of his body and utterly still.

Bertholdt snapped violently back to the present, the images receding enough to allow him to once more see the man in front of him. The man who he knew more intimately than he even knew himself. The man more important than any other would be. The man he could finally put a name to.

Bertholdt clapped his hand over his mouth as emotions, violent in their intensity, rocketed through him. Loss, shock, disbelief—but most of all—overwhelming all the other emotions was the clearest one of all: Love.

Love that burned in its intensity.

Love that seared through every part of him in an instant to become as deeply ingrained in him as it had ever been.

“ _Reiner,”_ Bertholdt gasped, unknowing how he could have lived for 17 years in this world without the knowledge of the man he loved beyond reason.

Bertholdt knew everything there was to know about Reiner, and he knew he was a man of action. He didn’t disappoint him now.

A light of instant recognition flashed in the golden eyes causing them to widen to max capacity. But he didn’t remain frozen for long.

He leapt up from his seat, newspaper sheets scattering in every direction and launched himself at Bertholdt. And the younger boy was already reaching for him. His arms aching for the man he hadn’t realized he’d desperately missed in this world.

And then Reiner slammed into him, causing them both to crash to the floor.

Bus floors, as everyone knows, are putrid. The seldom washings ensure that filth, urine, stale old food, and gum wads meld into them like a second skin. But this thought didn’t occur to Bertholdt then. The floors didn’t register. The pain is his head as he collided with it didn’t register.

All that he knew was that he had the familiar weight of the man, with the most intimate knowledge of him, was upon him once more, and that was everything.

Reiner grabbed tight hold of his chin and pushed his face right up against Bertholdt as if desperate to analyze him from the closest angle possible.

“Bertholdt!” he cried, his other hand coming up to rake through the younger boy’s hair—anything to reveal as much of the boy’s face as possible. “Bertholdt, I—oh god—Bertl, my Bertl, my sweet perfect creature. I—for so long—I can’t believe—“

But that was all he could manage, it seemed, before his voice choked him off completely. Warm wet droplets hit Bertholdt’s face that Reiner swiped off as quickly as he could but more kept coming to replace them.

“Sorry,” he muttered, roughly wiping his face on his shoulder to get rid of some of the tears, “I just…I was so worried—leaving you there like that. I’m so sorry I left you alone. I didn’t mean to—I didn’t want to. Please tell me you were okay.”

Bertholdt stared up at the immeasurably precious man atop him and felt his own eyes prickle with tears of relief. He was here again—alive. So gloriously alive with his chest heaving and his eyes moving and his heart beating and oh—just the thousands of things that live men could do that corpses couldn’t.

The thought was the greatest one he’d ever had.

_My Reiner is alive. He’s alive and he’s here with me and god how did I ever think the world drab and colorless when it’s so terrifically vibrant?_

Because as he took in Reiner he noted all the colors and the way things just seemed so much _more_. And damned if Reiner wasn’t even more beautiful than he’d been in their old world.

But maybe it was just seeing him with his head reattached that was making him think so. It certainly was a magnificent sight.

He knew what he had to tell Reiner. That he’d been okay after the man’s death. That he’d managed to be happy after that. But he hadn’t. He’d managed to eke out five years without Reiner, but they’d been a thankless five years. Everything had lost its sparkle. Food tasted like sand and people became ghosts who flitted past him. He’d sunk deeper and deeper into himself, missing Reiner like a lost limb, and feeling like the man had taken everything important of Bertholdt’s with him when he died. Bertholdt had smiled faintly as the titan ripped his head off his shoulders with its teeth. Because even though he hadn’t really believed in heaven, the slight possibility that he’d see Reiner again had been enough to give him hope in his last few moments.

Reiner was gazing down at him so intently. He was physically vibrating from the strength he needed to expend to hold himself back, but he was waiting for Bertholdt’s answer.

And Bertholdt, as much as he wanted to—to protect the blonde from the truth—he couldn’t lie to him. Not when the other looked at him so earnestly.

“Honestly, I was a bit lost without you,” Bertholdt admitted, trying to downplay it as much as possible.

Pain cracked across Reiner’s face as he read the truth in Bertholdt’s eyes, but then he let out a tear filled laugh and yanked the boy up into his arms, crushing Bertholdt to his chest with a sob.

Bertholdt buried his face in Reiner’s neck, his hands tight around Reiner’s broad back. He’d always felt guaranteed safety in these strong arms. And he was definitely no longer lost. He could feel the horror and years of pain being knit together after mere moments in these arms.

He kept squeezing, tighter and tighter, as if to reassure himself that Reiner was real. That he wouldn’t simply disappear, and Reiner squeezed him back just as hard, and Bertholdt was so grateful for the pressure because it almost felt like they were being squeezed into a single being, which was very much something he wanted right now.

Reiner let out a deep groan that shot straight through Bertholdt and lit everything on fire. Now his skin was burning everywhere and he knew that clothes were a problem. Any barrier between him and Reiner was a problem. And he wanted to suggest that they do something about it when a harsh barking cut through his thoughts.

“Off! Get off! I don’t need crazies like you on my bus! Get the fuck off!”

Bertholdt lifted his head from Reiner’s neck, and the surroundings he was in filtered back through his mind vaguely.

That’s right.

They were on a bus. A smelly bus that had pulled up to the curb and was now apparently waiting for their departure with a furious driver glaring back at them from its head.

Bertholdt began to pull away from Reiner in order to assess the man’s face, but Reiner made that unnecessary. He climbed to his feet, scooping his arms beneath Bertholdt’s feet, and hoisting him into a princess carry.

“Sorry, Bertl,” he murmured, touching his nose to the boy’s, “quick change of location. Won’t take a moment.”

Bertholdt remembered that in this world he inhabited being carried this way was considered un-masculine and degrading by society. But Bertholdt didn’t feel any of that. All he felt were flexed muscles and wonderful warmth.

Reiner smashed through the back doors of the bus with his shoulder and leapt down to the side walk. Before he’d even landed, Bertholdt realized he couldn’t take it anymore. The separation was killing him and he needed Reiner like he needed air. So he threw his torso up and gripped Reiner’s face securely between his hands. Then he tugged Reiner’s face to approximately the right angle and crashed their mouths together.

The surprise of the kiss caused Reiner to stumble upon landing but he quickly regained his balance and threw himself into the kiss with all the enthusiasm transcontinental reincarnated time travel can give you for your separated lover.

His hand knotted tightly in Bertholdt’s hair, tugging it back lightly in order to better expose Bertholdt’s mouth and throat which he attacked with furious abandon.

Reiner took two steps with the dark haired boy before pushing him up against a lamppost near the curb. Bertholdt didn’t even feel the cold of the metal through his shirt because of how much his skin burned. He strained forward trying to plaster himself against Reiner. Thankfully the blonde was pressing down into him, pinning his hips down against the metal post, one of his hands snagged securely in Bertholdt’s hair while the other pushed itself under Bertholdt’s shirt until it found the center of his chest, where it splayed out, feeling the thundering of the younger boy’s heart and assuring himself that Bertholdt was indeed alive.

Bertholdt was gasping with need for the beautiful man. He’d spent five conscious years without him and another 17 here, not knowing what he was missing, but feeling an ache where something was obviously not there. That was a lot of time, and Bertholdt wanted to put the utmost effort into making up for as much of it as he could.

Reiner yanked Bertholdt’s head back and tore into his throat, sucking biting bruises into the skin there, leaving marks that had been missing for far too long.

“Need you,” Bertholdt moaned, hating his weakness. He wanted to tear into Reiner too—to touch and taste and remember every bit of the boy with his body from this world, but he was so overwhelmed by this love and desire that he felt helpless from it. He’d never really felt desire in this world. He’d thought there’d been something wrong with him, but now he thought it was because his body had been storing this for Reiner and it couldn’t possibly house any for anyone else.

“God, Bertl, I need you too. Need you more than I can stand,” he groaned, pulling his mouth away and resting his forehead against Bertholdt’s. “But here’s not a good idea. I really don’t want to disrespect you like that. You deserve so damn much. Can you wait just a couple of minutes, baby? I live only a few blocks from here. Then you can command me to do whatever the hell you want.”

Bertholdt moaned, and Reiner made a sympathetic sound with his mouth in response, pressing three kisses in quick succession along his jawline. “Can you, Bertl? It’s okay if you can’t.”

Bertholdt let out another moan but then shakily pressed his hands to Reiner’s shoulders. “I can make it,” he breathed, hoping to convince himself, as well as Reiner with the words.

Reiner chuckled and it was a deep rumbling sound like warm honey. “There’s my brave man.”

Bertholdt flipped him the finger with so much affection it was hardly an insult, and Reiner certainly didn’t take it that way. He took the finger and kissed it before wrapping the hand in his own larger and warmer one and tugged Bertholdt forward.

“Can you walk?” he asked as Bertholdt stumbled after him, “I can carry you, no problem. Thank god I developed a hobby for weight training here. I didn’t know why, but I felt like it was important to be strong. But now I remember the total muscle fetish you used to have and it all makes sense now.”

“Used to?” Bertholdt replied, eyeing Reiner’s gorgeous physique unashamedly. “No need for the past tense here, love.”

Reiner shivered and squeezed Bertholdt’s hand tightly. “You still love me, huh?”

Bertholdt shoved him with his shoulder. “No, I just turn into such a melted pile of sludge whenever I’m with an acquaintance I’m totally apathetic too—what do you think?”

Reiner cracked a huge grin. “I forgot what a sarcastic little bastard you were.”

“And I forgot what a muddle headed beef cake you were,” Bertholdt shot back feeling something so bright and warm settle in his stomach that he just wanted to curl into a pile and purr.

Reiner looked far too touched for the words he received. “Come here,” he said in a raspy voice, and pulled Bertholdt in for a kiss as they stopped for the light.

It shouldn’t have been romantic. They were a couple of smelly, sweaty dudes who’d just been kicked off a bus for rolling around like a couple of lunatics, but the kiss they shared then was so tender that it quickly put every romantic comedy Bertholdt had ever watched to shame.

Reiner pulled away as the light turned green, dragging his teeth across Bertholdt’s bottom lip as he did so.

“Are we there yet?” Bertholdt groaned as Reiner took him by the hand once more and led him forward.

“Almost, baby,” Reiner reassured him. “Have to take care of one moment’s business first, though.”

He tugged a smartphone out of his pocket, clear distaste on his face as he did so, as if the mere thought of communicating with anyone but Bertholdt right now was the deepest affront to his senses.

He pressed a couple of things on the screen and held the phone up to his ear, mouthing a deeply apologetic “sorry” to Bertholdt. The dark haired boy looked back at Reiner blankly. He’d been so involved with Reiner that he’d forgotten an outside world existed, and his life certainly didn’t seem important enough to him to interrupt this moment now, but he didn’t begrudge Reiner for the interruption. Reiner had always been ridiculously careful to cater every one of his actions to Bertholdt, and Bertholdt would have been willing to bet his last dollar that this was the case now as well.

There were a few moments of silence, and then Reiner’s brows creased, alerting Bertholdt to the fact that someone on the other line had picked up.

“Yeah, Chris?” Reiner said, moving on quickly, “I’m calling to tell you that I can’t see you anymore. Sorry to do this on the phone, but it has to be over.”

Bertholdt’s eyes shot open and he was so surprised that he almost stopped walking, but Reiner’s continued pace didn’t change and he pulled Bertholdt along with him.

It hadn’t occurred to the boy that Reiner could have been with anyone else.

 _Idiot,_ Reiner thought to himself, _it makes sense. Reiner’s gorgeous. Of course he’d have people crawling all over him._

And it wasn’t Reiner’s fault. It’s not like he’d been cheating on him or anything. If he was like Bertholdt, than he’d had absolutely no recollection of Bertholdt in this world. Bertholdt couldn’t, and wouldn’t blame him for that. But he did feel a senseless fury rise up in him for any of the beings that had touched _his_ Reiner.

Before he’d met Reiner he’d been pretty passive. He didn’t let things get to him because everything was so rarely worth it and he just didn’t care. But Reiner… There was no part of him that could be passive about Reiner. He knew the sharp jealousy he housed for anyone who looked twice at Reiner wasn’t the healthiest, but he was trying to work on it. Right now though, he was going to cut himself some slack and let himself feel biting dislike for whoever this Chris person was.

Reiner sighed. “Come on, you knew it wasn’t a solid thing. You knew that’s not what I wanted.”

There was another pause, and in it, Bertholdt felt slightly soothed by Reiner’s words. Whatever he and Chris had was not what they had shared together. Reiner would never be that dismissive about what he and Bertholdt had shared.

Reiner’s jaw twitched. It was something he did when he was impatient.

“Don’t make me out to be some kind of demon here. I let you know full and well before we did anything together that I was only doing it because you looked like the guy in my dream. You said you were okay with just a physical thing.”

Another pause now, but shorter, and this time, Reiner’s voice wasn’t as calm.

“So you’re blaming _me_ because you lied about not caring? No Chris. That’s not how adults work.”

Bertholdt could feel himself getting really agitated, and Reiner sensed that, pulling Bertholdt into his side and murmuring, “I’m so sorry,” into his hair. Then he turned back to the phone conversation.

“Yes. There is another guy. And yes I am going to date him.”

This time the pause was shortest of all.

“No. It’s not the same thing. This man is my everything. He’s the one from my dream. I don’t expect you to understand that or believe me, but I don’t have to explain myself to you anymore. I’m hanging up now, Chris. Please don’t call again.”

And in so saying, Reiner hung up the phone, and then turned it off for good measure.

“No more interruptions,” he growled, tugging Bertholdt around the corner.

Bertholdt felt his breath snagging in his throat as he contemplated the words he was about to say, but forced them out anyway.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he muttered, hating the words. “I don’t expect you to turn your life around just because I showed up.”

Reiner stopped, and then turned to him, mouth agape.

“My life being turned around by you is something I _want_ ,” Reiner blurted when he found his voice, “You don’t understand how unbelievably ecstatic I am right now. I didn’t think the world could hold this much luck for one person. I mean—being able to spend _two_ lives with you? That is far, far more than I ever bargained for. It’s the greatest opportunity I’ve ever been given, and if you think that I’m going to waste one second of that precious time I have with you with anyone else than you are grossly underestimating how deeply and irrevocably my soul is attached to yours.”

Finding the hand linked in his too little, Reiner reached over, grabbed Bertholdt around the waist, and pulled him into his side, pressing a kiss to the side of the boy’s head as he did so. “Understand, Bertl?”

Of course Bertholdt understood. He couldn’t _not_ understand when the man’s feelings so exactly replicated his own. But if Reiner felt lucky, then Bertholdt felt doubly as lucky because since Reiner had died Bertholdt hadn’t had a single moment of completeness. He’d been so empty for so long that now he felt like he was being ripped at the seams from the fullness. But he didn’t care. He could explode from it and he still wouldn’t care. Nothing could ruin this moment for him.

Bertholdt buried his head so forcefully into Reiner’s neck that it caused them both nearly to fall over. Reiner laughed, wrapped both his arms around the boy and nuzzled his hair with his nose. “Should I take that as a yes?” he asked.

“I don’t want to wait anymore,” was all Bertholdt managed to choke out, squeezing Reiner with dangerous levels of force.

Reiner laughed again, but this time it was deeper. Sexier. “You don’t have to,” he said, gently pulling Bertholdt forward. “We’re here. Just a few more steps, gorgeous.”

Bertholdt groaned, but allowed Reiner to continue to lead him—well, _drag_ him was probably more accurate. But it wasn’t a problem because Bertholdt’s teenage body weight was no obstacle for Reiner who appeared to be just as fit as he had been in their old universe—something that Bertholdt couldn’t really say of himself.

Reiner pulled him through the door of an apartment building, and as he fished around for his keys to the inner door, Bertholdt whipped him around and shoved him up against the door. Reiner’s keys hit the floor with a clang as Bertholdt shoved his leg between Reiner’s, planted his hands beside the man’s head on the glass and hissed, “Fuck me.”

“God, Bertl, you—“

“ _Fuck me_.”

Reiner let out a deep moan and yanked Bertholdt’s hips close, smashing them down on his own as he seized the boy’s lips. Bertholdt attacked Reiner’s mouth with a savagery only the blonde could ever bring out in him. His leg, which he’d shoved forcefully between Reiner’s, pushed itself insistently upward, his thigh digging into the man’s crotch where a very beloved and familiar piece of anatomy lay.

“Damn,” Bertholdt hissed, raking his teeth over Reiner’s lips, “Is it even bigger now?”

He could feel Reiner’s erection, a blazing hot bar of steel, against his shaking thigh. Bertholdt himself was so hard he was feeling lightheaded.

“Bout the same, I think,” Reiner gasped, shoving up against Bertholdt’s leg instinctively, while his fingers slipped from his hips to dig into the boy’s ass. “And I see this piece of perfection is still a finely sculpted piece of art.”

Bertholdt snorted, and shoved against Reiner even harder, causing the glass in the door to rattle. Reiner threw his head back against the door and let out an animalistic groan, raking his fingers across Bertholdt and digging them tightly into his skin.

“Twenty two goddamn years without this,” Reiner hissed, lifting Bertholdt straight up by the hips and slamming the boy onto the glass, reversing their positions, only now Reiner was gripping the boy’s thighs, spreading them apart and pushing his hips into the new space, “Twenty two years without you. How the fuck did I survive?”

Bertholdt wanted to sob as Reiner pushed his crotch against his own, the feeling like directly applying 10000 volts to the area. His legs were shaking badly from his need.

“Please Reiner, I can’t anymore,” Bertholdt begged, fingers scrabbling at Reiner’s shirt, trying to tug him closer and rip the remaining barriers from his body.

“I know, I know,” Reiner murmured, voice trying to be soothing even though his own hands were shaking as they reached for Bertholdt’s belt. “I’ll make it better. I swear I will. I’m dying to.”

Bertholdt knew that he was being ridiculous. That he couldn’t possibly _really_ die if he waited any longer—but he didn’t believe his logic, and so made quick gasping encouragements as Reiner slipped the belt buckle free and tugged at the button of his school uniform pants. Only before Reiner could free Bertholdt from the confines of the restraining material, the outer door to the building was pulled open and a woman stepped in.

Both Reiner, and Bertholdt, despite their obvious distraction, felt their eyes being pulled backward toward the woman. She was blonde, beautiful, and appeared to be in her late twenties. Her bangs hung over her face, but were swept to the side so that they didn’t obscure her eyes, and when both Reiner and Bertholdt met her gaze, their breath was sucked out of them as new images, thousands and thousands of them, spiked in their minds like sharp sterile needles, bringing both pain and such sweet pleasure.

Neither of them lifted their eyes from the woman but their tightening hold on each other informed them that the other was experiencing the same kind of reunion with their dear friend.

“Annie…,” Bertholdt croaked. He had thought it would be impossible for this day to get any better. He’d thought finding Reiner was it for him. That there was nothing that could be added.

But now his precious family had just been expanded further to include one more.

Bertholdt’s arms were already reaching forward for the woman that had been taken from them at far too young of an age. Treason was not something taken lightly in the universe they’d come from. Yes, she’d done terrible things, they all had, but Bertholdt’s heart was a biased one, and the love in his heart he felt for the woman in front of him was one that could not be erased by seeing a list of crimes. “Annie!” he cried, louder, able to suffuse it with more feeling, and yet not enough.

Annie looked to him, and then to Reiner, and then she smiled. It was a soft quiet smile, and something neither of them had seen in too many years to recall. She looked at them like that for one perfect moment before finally deigning to speak.

“Christ, guys, like I really need to see your straining lust for each other at every possible opportunity. Get a damn room already.”

Reiner set Bertholdt down on his feet and then he stretched out long strong arms and crushed them both to his chest in a giant soul smushing hug. “My _babies_ ,” he muttered emotionally.

Bertholdt looked at Annie and then they both simultaneously rolled their eyes.

“Been awhile since I experienced anything as revolting as Mama Reiner,” Annie sniffed, false disdain in her voice as she pulled Bertholdt forward and pressed her lips to his head. “But look at you, practically a baby. They let you live a bit longer out there, huh?”

Bertholdt felt his eyes watering as he pulled Annie into his arms, grateful for the strength Reiner’s arms were giving him because he felt he would collapse otherwise. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, “I didn’t stop them from killing you. I didn’t know how, but I should have. I should have found a way—for both of you. I should have protected…”

“Hush,” Annie said, voice lacking any sort of sharpness. “None of that now. There’s nothing you could have done. Don’t you dare blame yourself.”

“But—“

“Don’t make me force feed you your own spleen,” She growled, giving him another kiss, on his cheek this time, and then reaching up on her tip toes to place one on Reiner’s neck. “I can still do that you know. I’m a martial arts instructor. I can kick your ass more effectively than ever.”

Reiner squeezed the woman close, his own eyes wet even though he was chuckling. “I can already feel the old terror of you returning.

“Shut up, muscle brain. Terrified victims don’t give me back talk.”

Reiner smoothed the bangs from her face that were even longer than they’d been in their old world. “You okay? The images—“

“Oh, I’ve had years to get used to those,” Annie interrupted with a wave of her hand, “Ever since I met Mikasa—“

“WHAT?”

It was a pretty impressive feat of coordination that both Bertholdt and Reiner managed to shout the word at exactly the same time and in precisely the same shocked tone of voice.

Annie grinned. “You guys are such idiots.”

Reiner grabbed her shoulders. “You met Mikasa? What about the others? Does that mean everyone else is alive? When did you—“

Annie clapped a hand over his mouth. “I forgot how annoying you were.”

“I didn’t,” Bertholdt volunteered.

Reiner gave him a smack on the ass, which was the entire reason Bertholdt had said it in the first place.

“I’m serious, though,” Reiner said, still in mid butt pinch. “Tell me everything.”

Annie sighed and bent down to retrieve the keys that Reiner had dropped. “I guess this means we can be proper neighbors now,” she said as she hunted for the proper key before pushing it into the door.

“Neighbors?” Reiner asked, though Bertholdt had already figured it all out already.

“Yes, moron,” Annie said, pushing the door open and holding it open for Bertholdt. She let it slam into Reiner’s face, though the blonde didn’t treat this as anything out of place. He threw it open with one hand and leapt forward to scoop Bertholdt in with the other. When he had securely tucked Bertholdt into his side, Annie continued. “We’ve been neighbors ever since you moved in 6 months ago, but you never noticed me, so I decided it might be better to just allow you to live your life.

“Wait, why?” Bertholdt asked from somewhere beneath Reiner’s armpit (the boy was holding him very tightly).

Annie sighed. “Because of all the difficulties I face with Mikasa. The moment I saw her I remembered everything about our past life—training, my death, as well as the short but important time we spent together.”

Important wasn’t really the word Bertholdt would have used. He remembered the long standing crush Annie had had on the beautiful girl and how she had been nothing short of ecstatic the day that Mikasa had grabbed her, spun her around, and kissed her without warning. Neither of them had ever been good at expressing themselves through words, and he knew that Annie always tried to downplay her feelings, but he’d known, the way close friends do, exactly how important Mikasa had been in her life, and he’d been so happy that she’d found someone she seemed to fit and complement so well. He remembered the way Annie had looked at him and Reiner right before the military police had taken her to be decapitated. She’d stared at them so closely, as if she was burning them into her memory so hard that even after her death she’d somehow manage to remember them. And then she’d begged them to look after the beautiful Ackerman girl, even though both of them had assured her that the corps’ number one recruit had no need for their protection.

“She was the first one I’d met from our world, so I didn’t know how it worked, but I’d thought that she would simply remember a little later than me—that my face would jog her memory—but so far there’s been nothing,” she admitted, biting her lip.

She began to climb the stairs, and Reiner and Bertholdt followed.

“And then I met you, Reiner,” she said, throwing her head over her shoulder. I couldn’t believe that you had just _happened_ to move into my building. At first I thought you’d come searching for me. That you’d moved in because you _knew_ I was there. And I ran up to you just as you were loading some of your stuff into the elevator. But when you looked up at me your face was totally void of recognition—it was blank, just as Mikasa’s had been. And…I’m sorry Reiner, I couldn’t handle that again. With Mikasa…It’s very difficult to be around someone who has no recollection of the life you’ve lived together. Especially because, well, we’d been so _alive_ over there. This world…the days can just slip by. They sort of blend together. Nothing really changes. Nothing is really urgent. Back in our world things _meant_ more if only because you knew it could all be snatched away the next day. And…The fact that I can’t share any of it with her. The fact that I can’t explain to her why I know so much about her, or why I grew attached to her so fast… it puts enormous strain on our relationship. She doesn’t understand why sometimes I’ll wake up screaming from terrible nightmares and need to hold her and cry for hours sometimes. She doesn’t understand why I stockpile food or why I check up on her, or why I feel so damn guilty all the time. She doesn’t know, and I can’t tell her because she’d think I was a lunatic if I tried.”

Bertholdt took all this in and felt the horror fill his stomach like a cold sludge. He wondered what would have happened if, on the bus, he’d looked into Reiner’s face, remembered everything, and had Reiner merely stare back at him, maybe asking if there was any way he could help him with a polite yet wary smile on his face. Bertholdt shuddered. No. that would be worse than not knowing him at all, and yet…

He looked at Reiner and burrowed himself a little deeper into the boy’s side even though that made climbing the stairs even more difficult. Would he have been able to walk away from this—from _him—_ if they’d come across each other? He didn’t know, and that’s why he could understand why Annie stayed with Mikasa and tried to make something work even though, no doubt, the whole situation caused her constant stress.

They came to the third floor landing and stopped. Annie turned to look at them, and when she did, Bertholdt reached for her and pulled her tightly to his chest.

“I can’t even imagine,” he breathed.

Her hands came up and gripped the back of his shirt. Not lightly in the “I love you and want to hug you” way, but tight and hard in the “I’m so desperate and alone” way.

“I thought I was the only one,” she croaked. “When I met Reiner and he didn’t recognize me I thought that I would be fated to be the only one to remember. I thought I’d live my days meeting important people from my past life and having to make the choice to either walk on by or stay and create a shallower and more frustrating relationship with them than I’d had back in the Titan days. I thought…” she swallowed, and when she spoke again her voice was a little stronger. “I thought I’d meet you one day too. And you’d just look at me with your beautiful eyes and sweaty face and I’d just be some random blonde chick standing there that you’d say ‘excuse me’ to and then continue on your way.”

“Annie…” Bertholdt rasped.

“I’m so glad I was wrong,” she said fervently, pressing her face to his chest. “This feeling…to have you remember… it’s better than anything else, Bertholdt. I was actually praying for this day, you know that?”

Annie, the fervent atheist had been praying for him to remember. Bertholdt thought his heart would crumble.

A second pair of arms enveloped them, as they always had, and as they always would continue to do.

“I’m so sorry for before, Annie. I don’t know why I didn’t remember,” Reiner muttered, giving them both a squeeze. “But I’m here now, and I swear I’m not leaving again, so don’t worry about anyone else being an asshole and not remembering because we’ll deal with it together.”

Annie smacked his cheek lightly. “You better,” She growled, before extricating herself.

Once she was free, she began to move again, moving down a hall that was lined by a row of apartments. She was walking a little ways ahead of them, and Bertholdt held Reiner back, forcing them to walk a few steps behind after he saw her surreptitiously swipe at her eyes. Annie was _not_ the type to like anyone see her emotionally overwhelmed, so he gave her the moment she needed, holding onto Reiner’s arm tightly as he let himself realize now, more than ever, how lucky he was.

They paused outside a door, and Annie began to fish in her bag for her own keys, and when she raised her head her eyes and expression were thankfully back to normal. “So when did you guys remember each other?” she asked, “It can’t have been long or I would have seen Bertholdt around the apartment complex.”

Reiner raised his watch to his eyes and gave it a moment’s pondering before replying. “Uh…about 15 minutes ago,” He approximated.

Annie blinked at each of them for several moments and then clapped her hand over her mouth as she let out a startled laugh. “Oh my _god_ —so I interrupted the ‘welcome back’ sex?”

“Well, uh—“

“Yes you did Miss champion of cockblockers,” Reiner growled, pulling Bertholdt into his front and glaring at her in a way that was only partly joking.

She grinned, delighted, “I’ve still got it,” she said proudly.

Reiner stuck his tongue out at her (a gesture that looked ridiculous on someone his size) and then began to nuzzle into Bertholdt’s neck. But before he could even get past a PG rating, Annie stuffed her key in the lock and then grabbed Bertholdt’s wrist, tugging him forward as she pushed the door open.

“Oh no you don’t,” she warned the other blonde, “You can do all that later. For now I have to introduce wonderboy to Mikasa.”

“Wonderboy?” Reiner asked, confused, but then they were already inside, pushing into a short hallway with old wall paper.

“Mikasa?” Annie called out, dumping her bag onto the small table in the hall and shucking off her shoes without stopping. Bertholdt could see that she was trying to keep her voice steady, but there was clear excitement in it that didn’t want to be contained. And then Bertholdt understood.

Annie thought he was some kind of memory trigger. That because Reiner had remembered everything when he’d looked at Bertholdt, that it would somehow do the same for Mikasa.

 _Oh Annie_ , he thought, looking at the way her face was lit up as she eagerly twisted her head, looking for the other women _I don’t think it works that way._

“I’m in the Kitchen!” Mikasa called out, “And, uh, if you’re wondering what the smell is, I _may_ have burned dinner.”

Though he had in a way prepared himself for the sound of the other woman’s voice, he still jumped when he heard it, his brain latching onto the familiar sound of it and clinging to it tightly. He turned to look at Reiner who was already looking at him and grinning like an idiot— _his_ idiot.

 _I know_ the blonde mouthed, giving Bertholdt’s shoulder a squeeze.

Bertholdt hadn’t spent much of his training days with Mikasa—she had been a little too perfect to feel comfortable around back then. But after she had grown comfortable around Annie, the girl had relaxed, and appeared far easier to talk to, and, Bertholdt had discovered that he’d been completely wrong about her. He’d bought into the stereotypes that she was just this mechanical robot who could only have human feelings toward Eren—but it turned out that she was sweet, protective, and sometimes just plain ridiculous, and even though after Annie had died spending time together had been somewhat painful, he had still drawn warmth from the girl and had regarded her with deep affection, as had Reiner.

Annie sniffed the air and laughed. “I told you to stick with something simpler than seafood,” she called back.

They crossed the remaining distance and came onto a doorway from which a smell not unlike burning rubber was emanating. And then Bertholdt had to stop, and he was thankful for the supportive hand Reiner placed around his waist, because there was Mikasa, straightening up and pushing slightly mussed black hair out of her face while simultaneously brushing off a spattered apron, looking so alive and well and not pursued by endless tragedy that Bertholdt wanted to weep from it.

“Mikasa, you—“

Annie stepped on the toes of his foot with precise brutality as Mikasa’s face lit up with alarm. Too late, Bertholdt remembered that this Mikasa remembered nothing about him, or his world, and was therefore probably wondering who this strange kid in her kitchen was, and why on earth he knew her name.

“Annie, who are—“

“These are my old friends, Reiner and Bertholdt,” Annie rushed to say as she walked over to the woman and brushed her lips across her cheek. “They’ve finally moved back into town so of course I had to have them over.”

Mikasa’s eyes didn’t seem to have lost their piercing quality over the transition to this world, and they roved over both Bertholdt’s and Reiner’s faces, analyzing them both closely. But then her face transformed into a smile, the alarm leaving. “ _The_ Reiner and Bertholdt?” she asked, squeezing Annie’s arm before moving around her to address the two of them. “I can’t believe it. I’ve heard so much about you guys. I was starting to think you were just a myth.”

“ _Hey_. I didn’t talk about them _that_ much,” an embarrassed Annie insisted as Mikasa reached forward and shook both Bertholdt’s and Reiner’s hands.

“Don’t believe her. She talked about you guys more than her own family. I can’t believe I finally get to meet you. What brings you guys here? Annie made it sound like you two were on the other side of the world.”

Bertholdt, who was still finding this whole “Strangers to Mikasa” thing overwhelming, didn’t know what to say. But Annie, the quickest thinking of the three of them, saved him, saying, “They both just moved back and came looking for me. They even moved into the building and were waiting to surprise me. Isn’t that incredible?”

Mikasa looked from the boys, who she’d released, back to her girlfriend, and seemed captivated by something there. Before Bertholdt could ask what, Mikasa turned around fully and grabbed Annie’s face, and then, right before both of them, she yanked the other woman forward, and kissed her soundly. Annie gasped and instinctively wrapped her hands around Mikasa, pulling her close as Mikasa’s mouth opened against Annie’s lips, and deepened their kiss.

Bertholdt had seen all this before, so it didn’t particularly bother him, but it did seem strange that Mikasa, who thought they were mere strangers, would be doing anything like this. But then it was all explained. With a slick pop, Mikasa withdrew from the kiss, but kept hold of a dazed looking Annie as she turned back to face the boys, her face alight with a smile. “I’ve never seen her smile like that. It’s so beautiful, isn’t it? Thank you for giving that to me. I know it’s because of you two. Thank you for making my Annie happy.”

Annie’s dizziness disappeared, and when she heard these words, she pressed a hand to her mouth and sucked in a sharp breath. “Mikasa…”

But Mikasa was still talking to the men in front of her. “I love her. She’s very important to me so of course I’m wary about just who she allows in her life because I don’t want to ever see her hurt. But I already know that anyone who can make her smile like that is someone who’s welcome in our home. It’s truly a pleasure to meet you both.”

Bertholdt bit down on his lip as emotions ripped through him. He’d seen Mikasa die as well, taken down in front of him by a group of 10 titans as she valiantly struggled to protect her brother. Even after one of them had bitten off her legs she’d still killed another three before she’d died from the overwhelming blood loss. She’d been different after Annie had died, more emotionally distant, so seeing her now, like this, with such simple happiness in her face—happiness untainted by anything from her past life—Bertholdt couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed.

“No,” he said, reaching forward and taking her hand. “It’s you we should be thanking. You’ve taken such good care of her in our absence. We’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

She laughed. “Good care? I think I’ve burned every real dinner I’ve ever tried to make her. Including this one, I’m afraid. You guys up for pizza?”

Bertholdt looked over Mikasa’s shoulder to find that Annie still hadn’t fully recovered. Maybe she’d thought that if Mikasa couldn’t remember her past that she couldn’t love her properly. But Bertholdt could see that this wasn’t the case at all, and that was what was probably overloading the titan shifter right now. But, like always, Annie was resilient, and snapped back relatively quickly. “Pizza again?” she groaned.

“Hey, it’s better than the charcoal lumps I just took out of the oven,” Mikasa said, pulling her phone from her jeans’ pocket. She pressed her fingers briefly to Annie’s cheek, and then excused herself to go make the call in the other room. As soon as she was out of sight, Reiner was by Annie’s side. “I can see why you’ve decided to keep her,” he said, pushing the woman’s bangs back.

“She loves me,” Annie whispered, in awe of the fact. “She _loves_ me.”

“Well she _is_ living with you, and willing to cook you burned dinners,” Reiner said, “Wasn’t that kind of obvious?”

Annie hugged herself and shivered, her bright smile returning. “I guess so.”

Reiner patted Annie’s head—a gesture she’d always hated in their old world and hadn’t developed a liking for in this one either—and then moved to the sink and took a glass down from the cabinet.

“Making yourself comfortable, I see,” Annie muttered.

“I figured that since you were so broken up by my not remembering you I’d better do my best to get things back to where they used to be,” Reiner said, like the gorgeous ass he was, as he filled the glass with filtered tap water and brought it back to Bertholdt. Annie rolled her eyes and left the room. “I’ll be right back,” she called over her shoulder.

“Drink, baby,” Reiner murmured, ignoring the other blonde as he pushed Bertholdt’s hair back. “I don’t need you getting dehydrated.”

“ _You’re_ the one who was crying,” Bertholdt protested, but brought the glass to his lips anyway.

“Yeah, well, I’ve always had the tougher constitution,” Reiner teased, fingers lingering in Bertholdt’s hair.

 _Oh? Was that a fact?_ Bertholdt thought, and then a mischievous grin lit his face. He filled his mouth with water. _Tough constitution or not I’d be a dreadful boyfriend if I allowed my partner to suffer_ he thought, convincing himself that his plan was a sound one. And then he grabbed Reiner’s chin, tilted the man’s head back, and kissed him. Bertholdt pushed the cool water that coated his throat into Reiner’s mouth. The seal was close, but not perfect, causing droplets to leak from their lips and dot Reiner’s shirt. As soon as Reiner swallowed with a gasp, Bertholdt let free his true intentions as he pushed a slick tongue into Reiner’s wet mouth, groaning at the heat and taste of him.

“Bastard…” Reiner rasped into his mouth, but did nothing to pull away. In fact, he pulled him closer. He yanked Bertholdt’s hips so that they smashed against his and kissed him back so hard that Bertholdt’s back curved backward. Reiner’s thick arm, wrapped as it was around Bertholdt’s waist, ensured that he didn’t tip over, leaving Bertholdt free to do whatever the hell he wanted with safe ease. This translated to a lot of hair pulling and messy tongue action—something Reiner didn’t seem to mind if his muffled moans were anything to go by.

 _Need more_ Bertholdt’s brain demanded. _Need everything._

He was hard again, no surprise, and his erection sought Reiner’s well-muscled thigh—an excellent way to gain some much needed friction. He remembered this from his past life. It looked like he’d remembered all the important things. Bertholdt let out a hiss of approval as Reiner gripped him more tightly and lifted him up, sliding his thigh more effectively into his crotch. If Bertholdt could choose a way to die death by exploding erection would definitely make the top 10, and that’s certainly what seemed to be about to happen.

 _This little virgin body has no idea what’s in store for it_ he thought dizzily as he reached around and grabbed Reiner’s ass. It was always nice to grab the gorgeous Titan tush but now it also gave him something to steady himself with as he began to slide the rest of the way up Reiner’s leg. He supposed to layman’s term for what he was currently doing could be described by “humping” or at best “frotting” but he didn’t care what it looked like—it felt too good.

“And what exactly did you plan to end this little stunt of yours with, exactly?” Reiner growled, scraping his teeth along Bertholdt’s jaw. He could feel traces of the blonde’s stubble on his face. He wanted to beg to blonde to do something to relieve the sweet and terrible pressure building up in him.

“Because I’m starting to think that you’d look really nice fucked against that row of cabinets.”

Bertholdt breath was streaming out of him in sharp uncontrolled exhales now. “Didn’t plan that far ahead,” he managed as Reiner slid his hand down between their bodies and palmed him through his pants. Bertholdt’s head had fell to the blonde’s shoulder, grinding his teeth together as he fought the urge to call out.

Reiner’s other hand came up and stroked his head. “It’s okay baby, Let it out. The worst Annie can do is toss us out of the apartment and then I’ll be free to make love to you in mine.”

Bertholdt shook his head, but his hold on Reiner only tightened. This body of his didn’t have any built up stamina. He’d never needed it before. And it had been so long since he’d last felt Reiner’s touch… He shuddered as Reiner’s fingers slip into his pants. Now there was only the thin layer of his underwear separating them. It was only now that Bertholdt recalled that he’d never remembered to do up his belt again after Annie had walked in on them at the entrance to the building. God only knew what Mikasa had thought of that when she saw it. Maybe he’d been lucky and she hadn’t noticed. But even if she had he knew he wouldn’t be able to regret it. He was too happy to feel Reiner’s fingers on him now.

“All wet,” Reiner croaked pressing his lips to the small space behind Bertholdt’s hair. “You excited for me, Bertl?”

Wet was an understatement. Drenched was more like it. Reiner of course was referring to the phenomenon where Bertholdt tended to sweat excessively when he was horny, and right now, he was very horny. And Reiner was aware of that. It looked like this body had somehow managed to remember Reiner’s touch even without ever having felt it before. Bertholdt let out a kind of sucking gasp as answer, which Reiner understood perfectly well because the next minute he’d lifted the boy up and dragged him right up to the very cabinets he’d threatened to fuck him against. Bertholdt’s back slammed up against the wood and this time when Reiner put his hands down Bertholdt’s pants, he dug in fingers into the waistband of his boxers and dragged them down, causing his erection to spring free into Reiner’s awaiting grip.

“So you’re circumcised in this world?” Reiner mused. “Interesting.”

Bertholdt was pretty sure he was sucking air into the wrong organ at this point because his lungs didn’t seem to be getting any. He was getting dizzier. “Reiner…” he moaned. His legs were knotted tightly around Reiner’s waist and he was effectively sandwiched against the cabinets. Reiner pulled Bertholdt’s t-shirt collar to the side and then bit down on the sensitive skin there, earning himself a sharp cry. “That’s more like it,” Reiner growled shoving his hips up into Bertholdt’s. He had his hand wrapped tightly around the boy’s erection. “I want to hear you. Have only heard you in my dreams the last too many years. Now tell me what you want.”

Bertholdt was ready to sob at this point. He was already jerking himself up into Reiner’s hot and large palm. It wouldn’t be long now, he was sure of it. His eyes were already squeezed tightly closed in anticipation. He had climaxed with Reiner more times than he’d been able to count. Would it be just as good now as it had been then? He couldn’t imagine it being any better. He’d had orgasms with the blonde that were so good he was sure he’d died and moved on to the afterlife.

“Wanna come,” he hissed, digging his fingers into Reiner’s broad back. “Wanna come so bad.”

“Always were a smart boy,” Reiner murmured, leaning into Bertholdt’s neck and sucking a hot and wet kiss into the creases there. “You going to call my name when you come, my beautiful Bertl?”

Bertholdt could only whimper in response. His head was thrown back against the cabinet and if he pulled at Reiner anymore his fingers would go right through the man. “Rei…”

“The face you’re giving me right now…I want to frame it. Sexiest creature alive. Now give me your mouth. I want to taste you more. There’s a good boy.”

Bertholdt’s breath exploded out of him and into Reiner’s mouth as he latched onto the blonde’s lips. Reiner rewarded him by sliding his tongue into his mouth and yanking Bertholdt’s erection so that it slid, wet and pulsing, against the blonde’s stomach. Reiner’s skin was hot and like stretched satin over iron hard muscle. Bertholdt felt like he was choking on his need. “Please!” he begged as Reiner grabbed two handfuls of his ass and used the hold to press and slide him against his deeply muscled torso. “Don’t stop. Don’t let go—“

“They’d have to pry me off of you baby, don’t worry. Now don’t hold back. I can’t even believe what I’m seeing right now. Gorgeous creature… How I survived this long...Shit Bertholdt—wait—“

But Bertholdt didn’t want to wait. Reiner’s abs were extremely lovely, but he was a greedy bastard and so his shaky fingers found the button of Reiner’s suit pants and were trying to unbutton it when the blonde’s larger fingers found it. “I want this to just be about you right now. I want to give this to you. If you do that I won’t be able to concentrate and—“

“Want it. Want your body. Want everything. Let go.” He shoved Reiner’s hands aside and groaned when the button slipped free. “Been dying to see it. Need to see if it’s still the same. Prettiest thing in existence.” His fingers scrambled to push aside the fabric and when his nails found the waistband of the man’s boxer briefs he wanted to inform the press of his tremendous victory. Reiner’s head fell to Bertholdt’s shoulder and his groan made his hips shudder against his. Bertholdt’s eyes were trained on the bulge beneath the final material obstacle. He wasn’t sure if anything would be worth the wait he’d been put through but he was sure as hell glad he’d made it to this point. He was going to join himself with Reiner. He was going to experience that again and no one could take that away from him. He would ensure it.

“What the fuck do you sick bastards think you’re doing in my kitchen?” Annie snarled.

Reiner’s head whipped up and Bertholdt froze, but Annie just stomped into the kitchen with an annoyed roll of her eyes. “That’s like the least sanitary thing I’ve seen this week and I had to use the toilet plunger after taco night. Now get your dicks away from my dishes before I take a machete to both your heads.”

Reiner hissed at her and pulled Bertholdt protectively into his body. Annie smacked the back of his head. “Don’t look at me like that. _You’re_ the ones being inappropriate.”

“It’s been 22 fucking years.”

“More like 22 fuck-less years,” Annie said, completely immune to Reiner’s death glare. It had never worked on her, much to the blonde’s chronic annoyance. Bertholdt wanted to say he was too turned on to be bothered by all this, but his tomato red face made him look like he had the sunburn of the century. “Now can you please clothe him? Mikasa doesn’t like seeing dicks before dinner. It puts her off her appetite.”

“Heartless bi—“

“Do you really want to finish that word, Reiner? I’m a fucking karate master in this world too.”

And then she reached all the way up onto her tippie toes and ruffled the blonde’s hair. “You can have the spare bedroom. Please stumble over there without poking my eye out with that javelin of yours. Oh, and be gentle. He’s probably still a virgin.”

If Reiner had looked hungry before, he looked ravenous now. Bertholdt took in the way the man’s eyes were practically burning the clothes off his body and shivered. “That true, Bertl?”

“Um… maybe?”

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to the bedroom, Annie.”

“This is _not_ negotiable, Reiner. Now get your pants back on before--”

“Ugh. Dicks.”

Annie whipped around and caught Mikasa’s shudder. She was standing in the doorway and looked acutely nauseous.

“What the hell did I tell you?”

She reached forward and yanked Bertholdt’s pants back up. “You guys are just as useless as you always were, I swear. I spend just as much time putting clothes _back_ on you as you spend taking them off.”

Bertholdt couldn’t even see anymore he was so embarrassed. He just wanted to shrink away into nothing. Annie was one thing—the amount of times she’d walked in on them was higher than Levi’s Titan kill rate. But this Mikasa didn’t even know them…

It seemed he was the only one shouldering any guilt though. As Reiner smoothed Bertholdt’s shirt back into place all he seemed was mildly pissed off. “I can’t help it, okay? I love him.”

“Can you at least pretend to be a functioning member of society?”

“No.”

“Uh…the pizza’ll be here in a couple of minutes just in case you guys were wondering,” Mikasa interjected.

“Too bad I’ll be eating something else…”

“Reiner!”

“What? Just look at how edible he is.”

Bertholdt moaned into the blonde’s chest, already knowing Reiner would misinterpret the sound.

“See? You’re ruining his impending orgasm.”

“Mikasa can you fetch the duct tape. I’ve found an emergency use for it.”

Reiner didn’t like the implications of that one bit.

“But with my mouth covered how am I supposed to suck his—“

“I’m sure you’ll find a way.”

Well that was it. He’d hit rock bottom. He reached down and peeled Reiner’s fingers off of his hips.

“Baby! Where you going?”

“To drown myself in the toilet.”

“Why are you guys so unsanitary? I didn’t raise you to be this way.”

“Bertl—I’m sorry. I’ll make you feel better.” He held out his arms. “Let me hold you.”

That was the exact opposite of a solution to the problem, but still Bertholdt faltered. Damn Reiner and his irresistible flawlessness. The blonde’s fingers closed over his wrist. It was his ten pack abs, Bertholdt figured. He was a total sucker for them. He also realized that if he was ever to make a successful escape he had to actually want to leave in the first place. Reiner pulled Bertholdt’s back against his stomach. “Hey,” he said softly, nuzzling the side of his face. “Did I yet mention that I love you?”

“Oh brother…” Annie snorted. “Mikasa, please don’t watch.”

“But it’s kind of cute…”

“It tends to go from cute to perverted in an average of 2.4 seconds.”

“That’s okay. I’m used to that from you.”

“What? How could you _possibly_ compare me to these two lovesick dunderheads?”

But just exactly how she planned to compare them Bertholdt would never know because at that moment the doorbell sounded, shattering the atmosphere of indignant shouting with rather enthusiastic urgency.

“Jesus,” Annie said as the bell rang for the fifth time in the span of four seconds. “Is this how they’re training the delivery boys now?”

“Why don’t you go get that?” Reiner said to her, shooting a meaningful look at the boy in his arms. He waggled his eyebrows—something both Bertholdt and Annie noticed. She swatted his butt. Mikasa rolled her eyes and headed back through the doorway. “Fine. _I’ll_ get it. Hopefully at least the delivery guy won’t be whipping his dick around too.”

“Wait,” Bertholdt gasped, “Take me with you!” He threw out his arm to her, begging for a lifeline.

She gave him a look.

“I’ll keep my dick hidden, I swear. Just please. I always hide by the battle of the blondes.”

“We do _not_ battle,” Reiner sniffed.

“Yeah, that would imply we’re on even ground. I _slaughter_ him.”

Bertholdt gave Mikasa his best set of puppy dog eyes. Whenever he gave them to Reiner he usually ended up naked with his legs thrown over the man’s shoulders. Thankfully Mikasa had a different reaction. She grabbed his wrist and yanked him out of the room with her. Behind him he heard a tragic cry.

_I’m sorry Reiner. But until we’re alone…I can’t handle Annie’s bear side. You’re on your own for now._

He knew he was safe as long as he was with Mikasa. She was the only one who could hold her own against the number 2 and number 4 ranked trainees in the 104th operations squad. Except his panic quickly returned when she let go of his wrist as she stepped toward the front door. Behind him he could already hear Reiner barreling in from the other room. He reached for Mikasa, fear in his eyes. Annie’s voice was getting closer. But Mikasa’s hand was on the doorknob, pulling the door open, and it was too late, he would just have to resign himself to the fact that Annie was going to tear him a new asshole. He just hoped he could get a quickie in with Reiner before that happened. He was just turning his head back to search for the blonde when everything stopped.

Mikasa’s hand fell from the knob like a dead thing, but the door still swung open revealing three intimately familiar boys to the room. One had a closely shaved head and an earring in one ear. One was small—almost tiny—and blonde. And the third had dark hair, green eyes, and wasn’t quite as tall as Bertholdt remembered. But even though all three had some differences, Bertholdt recognized them all right away. He’d spent so many years with each, and in such close quarters that he’d recognize them anywhere—even with their soldier’s uniforms swapped with those of pizza delivery boys. But he wasn’t the only one that recognized them.

“Holy shit on a Titan’s anus,” Reiner breathed.

“Oh fuck tits,” Annie gasped.

Mikasa was silent. Her mouth and eyes stuck open like they’d been pried that way. Nothing moved. She didn’t breathe. The boy across from her didn’t look like he was breathing either. But then slowly, very slowly, he raised his hand and pressed it to his lips. “Mikasa?”

His voice was so tentative, so soft that Bertholdt could hardly believe it belonged to the same boy who would scream and rant about his total hatred for Titans.

Mikasa still said nothing—couldn’t say anything. Not even to cry or hiss or gasp. But then there was a loud thunk as her knees hit the floor, her hands out in front of her, reaching, but unable to say anything. Her hair had fallen into her face, but it was as if it wasn’t there because her eyes never moved—were glued to the boy in front of her. “Eren.”

Bertholdt doubt he would have heard it in any other circumstance, but the room was so silent that he could hear even the hum of electricity to the light fixture.

Annie moved, stepping around Reiner as she shot forward, her hand already out ready to lift her girlfriend to her feet, but she never got there. Mikasa bypassed the hand totally as she stumbled to her feet, hands out and scrambling to get a hold of him, to touch him, to feel his realness. “Eren!”

Now the boy was moving too. The blonde—Armin—had reached out to touch his shoulder, but it fell off of him as he lunged forward and caught Mikasa as she began to fall. And as his arms came up around her a sound quite like that of a dying animal tore from her throat and coated everything with a shock so profound Bertholdt wouldn’t have believed it had he not experienced it himself less than an hour ago.

“ _Eren!”_

The name ripped through her, shaking her whole body. Her hands dug into his clothes, fingers finding skin that went red beneath her desperate touch. Skin that no longer healed or steamed when hurt. Skin that was now entirely human.

“Mikasa…alive…My sister…alive—my sister, Mikasa—“ Eren’s voice choked out into nothing as he pressed her head to his chest and began to cry, chest heaving as tears fell unchecked down his cheeks, sprinkling his shirt. It had never taken much to make the Titan shifter cry, though he usually had good reason, and Bertholdt couldn’t find fault for it in this case either.

Behind them Annie came to a halt watching the scene unfold, totally silent. Connie too was silent and frozen. Armin was not. He took a step forward, and then another, and then he was there too. His arms around the beautiful woman who was, for the first time, significantly older than he was. Mikasa lifted her head to find him, and with a blast of shock Bertholdt realized that she too was crying—sobbing in fact. Her shaky hands found the blonde with a choked out “Armin!” and crushed him to her chest as well, never withdrawing or lessening the hold she had on her brother. She stumbled to her feet and showered kisses onto every bit of them she could reach, hands smoothing away hair and tears with no regard to her own. “My boys…” she gasped. “My beautiful boys. Just look at you…” Because she couldn’t seem to stop looking at them. Her eyes were still just as rounded with shock but now they were moving, running over every part of them making sure everything was in place. Twenty years separation had done nothing to weaken her protective instincts. But as her hands cupped Eren’s face, she froze again, but this time for less than a second. And then she whipped around, eyes burning bright and choked, “ _Annie._ ”

She opened her arms wide and then a hesitant Annie fell into them and Mikasa’s arms crushed her close, and the tears were still freely falling as she cried out again—stronger and with more deep seated meaning than she had before—“ _Annie!”_

“Mikasa…” Annie said, voice hoarse. “Does that mean…you remember?”

Mikasa didn’t answer. Not yet. Instead she grabbed Annie’s chin, yanked it up and slammed their mouths together, leaning so far into the other woman it looked like she would crush her. Annie let out a small sharp cry that was muffled somewhere between both their mouths and then her hands came up and clamped down on either side of Mikasa’s face, and kissed her like it was her very last moments on earth. But it was nobody’s last moments. That was made clear when Annie tugged herself away to get a better look at how Mikasa was handling things, and Eren’s tears turned to awful gut wrenching things, and Reiner reached Bertholdt and pulled him into a protective hug and Connie just looked around trying to figure out what to do with it all.

“Wait, Armin, does this mean that Eren also—“

“He remembers,” Armin finished, looking up at his friend with shocked awe. “He finally remembers. More than ten years, and he finally remembers.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. You died for me. You died trying to protect me!” Eren sobbed, his head buried in his sister’s neck. “Everyone was always dying to protect me.”

“Come on, that’s not true. Plenty of people died all by themselves,” said Connie, trying to help. It didn’t help. Eren began to sob harder, but through his tears he was still making discoveries. He caught sight of the other Titan shifters and dragged his arm over his eyes. “Reiner! Bertholdt! Oh my god you’re all here and—oh my god Armin I’m so sorry. All those years. You knew all those years? Since you were five you—“

“Yes. Always. As soon as I saw your face. I’m so glad you’re back. I—I don’t know how to say it other than—“

Eren, who had let go of Mikasa, reached down for the tiny blonde, yanked him up, and kissed him right on the mouth. Armin went completely stiff, eyes wide open and uncomprehending until Eren pulled his mouth away after several intense seconds. Bertholdt was pretty sure his brain had given up trying to follow through with all these new developments.

“It looks like no matter where I meet you I’ll fall for you,” Eren said, sliding his hands back to grip the boy’s hair tightly. “It didn’t matter which world, both times I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I was barely taller than a tree stump. You’re the smartest, bravest, most beautiful boy in my life and I’d be a fool—an even bigger fool than I’ve been up until now—not to tell you now that I’ve been handed another chance. I love you, Armin Arlert.”

Armin stared up at him, uncomprehending, and then, slowly, he shook his head. “No. It doesn’t make sense. You can’t love me. You didn’t even remember me. I was only five this time around. I was only five and as soon as I saw you…all those memories… Do you know what it’s like for a tiny child to remember seeing the man they loved eaten? Do you know how many years the nightmares have plagued me? Do you know what it’s like to see that trauma every time I looked at your face while I tried to contain an adult sized love in a child’s body? I hope you never know, Eren. Because I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone, least of all the boy I want to spend every day with, no matter how many lives I have. You can’t love me. You can’t. Or you would have remembered with me. You would have remembered when you saw my face. You wouldn’t have left me alone with those memories. You would have… You would have...”

Armin was crying. They had started off slow and silent, but by the end of his words they had gotten hard enough to choke him off, and now he was holding onto Eren’s arms, gripping them tightly, because otherwise he would fall. His head sank down and hit Eren’s chest and his shoulders shook with desperate relief because despite his words he was so grateful. So happy not to hide anymore, and it was obvious to Bertholdt even though he hadn’t experienced it, because he’d seen Annie and her secret tears in the doorway. And because one didn’t have to experience something exactly to understand that pain was pain and happiness was happiness.

Eren’s face twisted up tight—twisted up so much it was like all his features were trying to become one. And then he crushed Armin to his chest so that all you could see was a little blond mop of hair. “No. You’re wrong. I love you. I love you so much Armin. I wish you could read it. Could see it in my mind, my heart—everything really because it’s been part of me for so long that it spread everywhere so please… _please…_ I don’t know why I didn’t remember. I don’t know why you had to suffer alone. But that doesn’t make my feelings fake. Please believe me.”

He reached down and pulled Armin’s face back up, and his face was so earnest that Bertholdt knew that Armin wouldn’t be able to avoid believing it. Eren spread his fingers across the boy’s face. “Believe me,” he repeated. “You know I’m shit at lying.”

“I…but…”

“Ugh. You guys are so gross, but here, you want proof?” Connie stormed into the middle of all that angst. Bertholdt had to commend the guy on his bravery. He wouldn’t have set foot into that den of cooties if you’d paid him. “You know how we both used to sleep next to Eren in the training dorms? You on the right and me on the left? Well, unfortunately I don’t sleep as deeply as you, Armin, because Eren used to masturbate, in bed, to the thought of you, and I, may my poor soul find peace one day, had to hear it _all the damn time_ , despite all the hints I dropped that, you know, maybe he could find a place just the slightest bit more private for it. But you know how he is. Couldn’t spot a hint if you smacked him in the face with it, and god, I suffered for _years._ So then we all die, right? Okay, well, at least I’m free of Eren. So I’m born into this world, and when I’m eight years old I meet Sasha, which is awesome, and all my memories come rushing back, which is kind of traumatizing, but still awesome because Sasha remembers with me, and everything is going really damn awesome and then, when I’m fourteen years old I start to work at Pizza king on weekends for some extra pocket change. And then I meet my coworkers, and only Armin remembers me. But that’s okay. I can handle that. Except I can’t, because within the week I walk into the Pizza King bathroom to Eren masturbating to Armin _again_ , and it’s like the whole world repositioned itself and brought me back to life just so I could Eren the horny dumbass again. And it doesn’t matter that he can’t remember, his body still knows what it wants, and it wants you, Armin, and it also wants to keep traumatizing me, but I guess we should keep the focus on you, not me. Now can I _please_ leave before I have to see any more making out?”

Connie looked so desperate and hopeful in that moment, but it was all torn to shreds the next second when Armin threw his arms around Eren’s neck and kissed him like he was trying to suck out every horny thought the teenager had ever had—which there were a lot of—and it showed. Connie groaned. “I seriously hate all of you.”

Bertholdt turned to Reiner and found that the blonde’s smile mirrored his own. “How stupid is all of this?”

“Extraordinarily stupid.”

“I love it.”

“I love you.” And then Reiner began to lean in toward him.

“Don’t you dare kiss me. There’s already too much gay in this room.”

“There’s no such thing as too much.”

“There’s always too much when you’re in a room, Rei,” Annie contributed from the middle of the room. She was still holding onto Mikasa’s face and looking at it as one would the first rose in bloom. In turn, Mikasa was fingering Annie’s hair like it was something she’d never seen before. “I think you might actually be even hotter in this world.” She murmured. Annie blushed. “You see me every day. Go back to freaking out over your brother.”

“I can freak out over both of you at the same time. I’m very talented. I was the number one trainee, remember?”

“You only just remembered that yourself,” Reiner grumbled.

“Shut up, number 2,” Mikasa said.

Annie laughed, and then Mikasa kissed her again and the laugh became breathless.

“How come everyone else can kiss, but us?” Reiner whined, tugging at Bertholdt’s waist.

“Because everyone else has at least a minimum cache of self-control,” Armin said, and then turned to Bertholdt. “It’s great to see you. To see all of you. I just…” his eyes found Annie. “I hope you can forgive me. I didn’t want to get you killed. I didn’t want anyone to die. I didn’t…”

Mikasa, Eren, and Annie all reached for Armin at once. “Why you talking about depressing crap when we’re all here again?” Annie asked.

“Alive,” Bertholdt added.

“With pizza,” Connie reminded them. That got all their ears perked up.

Eren wrenched the square box from Connie’s hands. “Damn, remembering traumatizing shit sure makes me hungry.”

“Hey! That’s _our_ pizza, worker boy,” Annie said.

“Hey, Mikasa lets. Don’t you sis?”

“Whatever you want, Eren.”

“See?”

“You see him for five seconds and are already back to spoiling him rotten.” Connie grumbled.

“You’ll move in with me, right Eren?” Mikasa said.

“WHAT?”

“It’ll make me so happy, Annie.” Mikasa threw her girlfriend a winning look.

“But what about our sex life?” Annie demanded.

“What about _mine_?” Eren demanded.

“Oh please, a little shit like you doesn’t even know which hole to shove it in,” Annie said dismissively.

“I could show him,” Armin said shyly. Bertholdt choked a bit. The little blonde was more devious than he looked.

“I refuse to have the little brat fornicating in my apartment!” Annie shouted.

Reiner laughed and whispered “She said fornicating.”

Bertholdt rolled his eyes. “Have you forgotten how old you are?”

“Old enough to screw the shit out of you.”

“I prefer to defecate by more conventional methods.”

Reiner grinned, looking predatory. Casually he leaned over and fisted Bertholdt’s shirt, bringing him down to eye level. “Well that’s just too bad, isn’t it?” Bertholdt felt himself go hot all over, and then he shivered. Reiner’s pupils dilated.

“Hey, you guys want any pizza before Eren eats it all?” Connie called over to them.

Reiner’s eyes didn’t move. They stayed on Bertholdt’s skin, cooking him with their fire. “No thanks.” The syllables were deep. Reiner’s voice always dropped when it was like this. When electricity crackled between their bodies and sent shockwaves down their nerves.

“Wait. Aren’t you hungry?”

Reiner’s eyes flicked up and down Bertholdt’s body, lingering everywhere. “Starving.”

Bertholdt couldn’t say a word. He too was so hungry that his teeth ached. But it wasn’t for pizza, or any other food of questionable nutritive value.

“Well then—“

“Rei…” It was such a low gasp, only a whisper. But it was all the permission Reiner needed. His hands clamped down on Bertholdt’s face and then his mouth was there, biting, sucking, _consuming_ Bertholdt. And he could only gasp into it, hands useless as they twisted in Reiner’s shirt, needing to drag him closer. Needing contact. Needing more than Reiner could give him in this room full of people. But thankfully Reiner had never cared about propriety, and so reached down with only a single hand, grabbed a handful of material, and then yanked Bertholdt up and into his arms. As his feet left the ground Bertholdt wrapped them tight around Reiner’s waist and pressed them together, lining up their hips, chests and shoulders. Reiner groaned and Bertholdt swallowed it down, pushing their mouths closer, kissing him deeper. His tongue wanted more, needed more, from Reiner, and he was so grateful for the man’s strength, because with his head clamped in place Reiner was able to push their kiss so deep that there was no breath. His other hand was plastered to Bertholdt’s back making sure no space, no pocket of air, could come between them. Bertholdt moaned. He didn’t care if the whole world were listening. Reiner was in his arms. Reiner was kissing him like he held all the answers. Reiner was moaning just as loud as he was, and there was nothing else for Bertholdt than those things. Breaths were being sucked in rarely and sparingly because every bit of energy was directly invested in fusing their mouths together and that’s why it came as such a surprise when Reiner pulled back on Bertholdt’s hair instead of pulling it forward, and their mouths separated with a sucking gasp.

“No,” Bertholdt whined, mouth already angled to take those lips back. Reiner’s eyes shot to Annie and when he spoke his voice had the kind of authority that shut entire cities down. “ _Where_.”

“Down the hall. Last door on the right.” She said, not a second’s pause. You didn’t pause when Reiner used that voice.

The blonde didn’t bother to nod, or acknowledge in any way. He simply clamped back down on Bertholdt’s face and sank his teeth into the boy’s lips. Bertholdt let out a sharp cry of pleasure and bit back, pushing with his tongue until he was back inside that heat—and then he was lost. He didn’t notice when Reiner began to walk him forward, but he did feel it when Reiner shoved him up against a wall, the man’s hands scrambling with his shirt. Bertholdt offered him urgent encouragement in the form of high quick gasps, and then the shirt was gone and Reiner’s hands traveled over hypersensitive expanses of bare flesh. Bertholdt hissed as the fingers brushed over his nipples, hard and waiting for the touch they remembered. And then he was off the wall and Reiner’s nails were digging into his back. And then there was a door, but then there wasn’t a door, and Reiner was growling deep in his chest and it lit a fire in Bertholdt’s belly. “Now,” he begged, tugging at Reiner’s shirt. _“Now_.”

“Yes.”

And then they were falling and there was a mattress at his back, but Bertholdt’s hands never left Reiner, his arms locked around the man’s neck. “ _Please_.” He was sobbing at this point, but Reiner’s fingers were already there, lifting Bertholdt’s hips, and sliding his pants down his legs.

“Of course.”

Bertholdt’s fingers sank into Reiner’s shirt pulling him down on top of him. “Feel me. Be with me.”

Reiner dropped the pants and wrapped his arms around his precious partner. “ I’ll never stop.”

“Kiss me,” Bertholdt begged. And Reiner did, kissing him with so much passion Bertholdt wasn’t surprised they didn’t tear right through the mattress and tumble into an oven, because everything was burning hot, making it difficult to breathe. But he didn’t need breath. Not with Reiner here. As long as his hands were on the man there was nothing else.

Bertholdt’s fingers tugged at Reiner’s shirt. They were ineffectual tugs, but Reiner helped him, reaching up and snapping the buttons open without pulling his mouth away. But Bertholdt was too impatient to wait. He yanked the fabric away, the last of the buttons flying off. One of them hit his shoulder and fell to the bedspread. His hands touched burning flesh. Reiner’s flesh. Bertholdt cried harder. “Yes. This. _You_.”

Reiner’s hand covered Bertholdt’s. “Always.” His hand was so much larger, stronger. Bertholdt seared with the recognition of its warmth.

Bertholdt was naked. This body had never been naked with anyone before. But Reiner wasn’t “anyone.” He was Reiner. He was everything. He was the man no amount of time or space could ever affect. He was Bertholdt’s safety. He was home.

Reiner shrugged the shirt off his shoulders, and leaned down to kiss his lover, but Bertholdt’s arm was in the way, already yanking at the man’s belt. “Take it off. All of it. I need all of you.”

“You have it. I’ve always been yours.” It took him two tries to get his belt open because he was shaking. Reiner rarely shook, but today he was shaking, and Bertholdt could understand why. He was shaking like a leaf himself.

Bertholdt’s fingers were desperate claws as they sank into Reiner’s waistband and pulled both the man’s pants and underwear down in one yank. Then all the breath left his body. He stared.

Reiner looked down at himself, alarmed. “What? Am I—“

Bertholdt tackled him. They hit the goose down with a whump. “Asshole!” he hissed, and slapped the man’s chest. “My body is nothing in this world. Still a child’s body. How am I supposed to compare to _This_?” And in so saying he reached down and closed his hot sweaty palm around Reiner’s significant erection.

Reiner choked on his inhale, but Bertholdt didn’t give him a chance to recover. He leaned down and pushed Reiner straight into his mouth, feeling the burning pulsing of the man’s length as it hit the back of his throat. It looked like there were certain things you never forgot to do, sort of like riding a bike. But Bertholdt knew he’d find riding the man beneath him a hell of a lot better than riding any bike.

Beneath him, Reiner arched off of the bed and made a sound closer to a dying cat than anything a human was supposed to produce. Bertholdt smiled, he couldn’t help it. Reiner’s hand grabbed a handful of his hair, and Bertholdt let the man pull his head off his erection with a sucking gasp. “I still got it,” Bertholdt said smugly.

Reiner attacked his face. He kissed him like there was nothing else he knew how to do, like he couldn’t bear to be doing anything else, and like Bertholdt was the most important thing that had ever happened to him. Bertholdt felt all these things as well, and so the kiss only escalated, hands, tongues, and teeth everywhere as they rolled around clumsily, barely aware of their bodies motions, as they tried to suck in enough air regularly enough to keep going.

But Bertholdt found resolve, because he somehow managed to wrench his mouth away and gasp, “Damn it Reiner! Hurry up!”

Reiner snarled and bent to kiss him again, but Bertholdt smacked his hand over the man’s mouth and hissed. “My asshole is _throbbing,_ and it’s embarrassing as hell. Fuck me already.”

“Need to prepare—“

“ _Fuck me_.”

“We need lube...”

“Use your spit.”

“No. Not for your first time.”

“It’s not my first time! We’ve done it—“

“I’m not ramming anything in there without proper preparation! Case closed,” Reiner growled. “You can’t just heal like you used to, remember? You want to have difficulty sitting down afterward?”

“I don’t care!”

“Well I do!” Reiner exploded. He gripped Bertholdt’s face. “I care a hell of a lot.” He swiped his thumbs across Bertholdt’s cheekbones. His hands were shaking less and his eyes were so very gentle. “I love you, Bertholdt Fubar.”

Bertholdt wanted to say the words back but he was finding it impossible to speak around the lump in this throat. Reiner pressed his lips to Bertholdt’s forehead and then pulled back. Bertholdt wanted to tug Reiner back down, but his body had gone all floppy. He didn’t know why Reiner had been given back to him, maybe because someone out there had decided to make Bertholdt’s only wish ever come true. Maybe because Reiner would never let something like time or space interfere with their love. Or maybe it was because their fates were so entangled that no separation was possible. He didn’t know, and honestly, right in this moment, he didn’t care. He was too caught up in this perfect moment to feel anything but the closeness and the love.

Reiner leaned over and pulled open the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed. “Now if Annie is as devious and perpetually horny as I remember her being…” His hand rummaged through the drawer, tossing aside flotsam, but then his hand paused as he let out a triumphant cry and pulled up a small squeeze bottle. “Ta da!”

“Annie is going to flip if we use that,” Bertholdt noted.

“Annie gave this bottle up for good the moment she let us use this room,” Reiner assured him, and squeezed a healthy amount of the lube he’d found into his palm. He began to rub his hands together, warming it up and coating his fingers.

Bertholdt was breathing quickly and he was squirming his hips into Reiner’s lap. The other man made things easy for him by taking hold of Bertholdt’s hips and yanking him up. Bertholdt twined his legs around the man’s neck just as he’d done at least a hundred times before.

Reiner whistled, and brought gentle fingers to Bertholdt’s crack, gently resting his fingers there. “What a view.”

Bertholdt grinned and grabbed Reiner’s wrist. “It doesn’t just have to be a view.” He separated the man’s fingers and, after relaxing, pushed the index finger up into himself. He wasn’t sure whose groan was louder, but they were both pretty damn loud.

“Fuck,” Reiner rasped, and let his head fall to rest against Reiner’s. “I’m…”

“Inside,” Bertholdt finished. “Where you belong.”

“Bertholdt, I…“

Bertholdt let go of the man’s hand and instead wrapped his arms around the man. “Want more,” he said burrowing into Reiner’s neck. “Please.” He lifted his hips causing Reiner’s finger to slide more deeply inside. Reiner moaned again. He wasn’t frozen long though. He began to work the finger inside of Bertholdt, hooking the finger, exploring, not so much as learning, but rediscovering the body he’d missed for so long.

“Tight, huh?” Bertholdt asked. Reiner’s jaw was clenched and his breath was hissing through his nose.

“You could say that…”

“Put another one in.”

“Not sure I can handle that.”

“Just put it in.”

Bertholdt was trying to sound nonchalant but he was pretty breathless too. It only got worse when Reiner pushed a second finger in.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bertholdt hissed.

“That’s what I’m endeavoring to do.”

“You feel so damn good inside me.”

“You say that every time.”

“It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Pretty true, yeah, _shit!”_ Reiner gasped as Bertholdt shoved himself down on the fingers inside of him. Reiner grabbed Bertholdt’s hips. “Careful! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“The only thing that’s hurting is my delayed gratification,” he said, “Now put it in.”

“Shit no.”

“Well then at least put in another finger.”

Reiner sighed, but did carefully slide in a third finger. He hooked his arm around Bertholdt and crushed him to his chest. His whole body was shaking. “ _Bertl…”_

Bertholdt eyes had begun to leak tears again. There was no way to stop it. It wasn’t because of pain so there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“You’ll stay with me in this world?” Reiner managed over a voice that sounded strangled.

“ _Yes.”_

“I don’t ever want to be without you. You weren’t with me at the end. I never want that. by my side. I need you by my side. Nothing is right without it. _Nothing_.”

Bertholdt reached down and pulled Reiner’s fingers out of himself. He had to stifle a moan at the loss, but he could bear if he focused on the even better things that were to follow.

“I’ll be there,” He swore and leaned back, gently pulling Reiner over his body. His legs were over the man’s shoulders. His hand searched for Reiner, and found him. He wrapped his hand over the man’s length, slightly thicker than he remembered, but other than that nearly identical.

Another hand came down on top of his. Just as huge and warm as always even though its surface was dotted with several salty drops. Bertholdt jerked his eyes up and found that Reiner’s face was wet. He hadn’t bothered to wipe them off though. He didn’t when it was only Bertholdt with him.

The blonde brought a small foil packet to his teeth and ripped it open. Bertholdt was instantly flooded with distaste. “No,” he growled, giving Reiner’s length a tug. “No condoms.”

“I have to. Until I get myself tested I’m not going to put you at the risk of getting anything I could possibly—“

“You ridden other people bare before?”

“No.”

Bertholdt ripped the condom out of his hand and tossed it to the floor. “Then there’s nothing to worry about.”

“There’s a possibility that—“

“Reiner, if you try to fuck me with that thing on I’m going to make you eat it.”

“I’m trying to keep you _safe_.”

“No, you’re driving me _insane._ You don’t have anything, and I don’t have anything, so if you think I’m going to let you put some kind of barrier between us for no reason—“

“I can’t, Bertholdt. You know I can’t. If there’s any possibility of risk…I hurt you too much already. I left you for 5 goddamn years. I wasn’t there to protect you when you died. I wasn’t there for your hurt. Can’t you see that I can’t possibly let you go through any more? I already don’t know how I’m going to live with that guilt. I can’t have any more. Not in this world. Please Bertl.”

Bertholdt kissed him. He didn’t want to. He wanted to tell Reiner that worry was stupid because there was no reason for it, but he was too touched by the man in his arms. Too in love.

They gasped into each other’s mouths and Reiner’s hands were everywhere, making every one of his nerves crackle and fire.

Reiner retrieved the condom and began to roll it on while Bertholdt moaned, “Don’t want it. _Don’t want it_.”

“I’m so sorry, baby. Do you want me to stop?”

Bertholdt pushed his face into Reiner’s neck. He’d never felt arms stronger than Reiner’s. Had never wanted any to replace them. “Of course not.”

“I’ll get tested today, I swear. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Shut up and stick it in. I’ll die if you don’t.”

“Shh. Don’t joke about that.” Reiner said and found Bertholdt’s entrance.

“I’m not joking. Can’t wait anymore. Heart will stop.”

Bertholdt’s heart was thundering and his words were nothing more than air. “Okay. Okay. I’m here, Bertl, okay?” He nudged his length against Bertholdt’s entrance. “Right here.”

“Inside. Need you inside.”

Reiner pushed. His hands were gripping Bertholdt’s hips as he began to slide inside. It was a very tight fit. Bertholdt’s body was a little narrower in this world and Reiner’s was just slightly wider. That combined with the barest preparation that they’d done made a burn slice up his body as Reiner pushed inside.

“Too much,” Reiner gasped. “Let me take it out.”

“ _No!_ ”

“Bertholdt…”

Bertholdt grabbed Reiner’s hips and shoved the man in the rest of the way. He didn’t care about the burn. He didn’t care about the stupid barrier between them now. All he cared about was Reiner’s heat and finally feeling it inside himself. Nothing else mattered.

“Bertholdt!”

Reiner buried his face in the boy’s shoulder, which soon grew wet. They were both shaking.

Bertholdt’s arms wrapped tightly around Reiner. There were some dark spots in his vision but several blinks cleared them away. He was crying again. He’d never been happier in this strange new world.

“I wasn’t okay,” he admitted. Hearing Reiner’s sobs as the man cried and held him was making his own voice very unsteady. “I wasn’t okay when you were gone. I didn’t want to be alive when you were gone. I hated the world without you in it. I never thought I’d see you again. I thought all my happiness had ended. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing your body. I—“

Reiner’s howl of grief tore right through Bertholdt and silenced him. No. that’s not what he’d meant to do. That’s not what he wanted. He only ever wanted to see Reiner happy. That was his only goal.

“Rei, no… Can’t you see how happy I am now? Please, I didn’t mean to… You’re here now, right? Everything’s okay. We’re okay.”

Reiner’s cries didn’t stop. They were ragged and broken. Bertholdt nudged his hips up. “Come, Rei. Move. You’ll feel better if you move. You’ll heal. We’re alive. We’re both alive, and you’re so beautiful Rei. I can’t believe how beautiful you are. Stay with me. Be in this moment. Don’t wallow in it. Don’t torture yourself.”

“I’ll never forgive…I should have found a way to—“

“Stop. Just stop. Don’t go there. Be with me. Don’t you want to be with me now?”

“More than anything. I dreamed of your face for years without knowing your name but feeling that you were more important than anything would ever be.”

That was a hard one to take without crying, but Bertholdt would have to manage it. “So let that be the most important thing now. We can talk over things later when we’re both calmer and ready for it. But give this to yourself now. You deserve it. We both do. Come, let me see your face.” he tugged at Reiner’s shoulder. The burn inside of him had already faded and now he just felt that beautiful aching fullness.

Reiner pulled his head up and swiped at his eyes. “Sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. How could you apologize when I know how much you love me?”

“More than anything. Since we were children…”

“We both did. Remember how stupid it was that we’d both been so nervous? How there was nothing to worry about because we’d both been crazy about each other for so long?”

“Because you liked girls…I thought—“

“I liked _you._ I liked you so much that I knew I was lying to myself about like, and that it was love, and that it would always have to be you.”

“You kissed me first…”

“Of course I did. You probably would have stalled forever if I hadn’t.”

“You made me so happy that day. And every day after that. But I was already happy before. So happy every day I got to spend time with you.”

Bertholdt nudged his hips up again. This time it caused Reiner’s whole body to shudder. He let out a raspy moan. Bertholdt smiled.

“That’s right, Rei. You feel it too? You going to consume me alive, or what?”

Bertholdt shoved up now, thrilling in how deep and hard everything was. This time Reiner’s hips met his, and the explosion of pleasure was too much to allow pain in either of their hearts.

Reiner gripped Bertholdt tightly and shoved into him like he had the last time they had made love—with a crushing desperation.

“Gonna be too rough,” he hissed out, forehead pressed to Bertholdt’s. “So sorry. I’m weak. I’m…“

“Perfect like this,” Bertholdt reassured him, clinging to Reiner’s back. His breath bursting out of him with every shove. His mouth had fallen open and it was taking everything in him not to scream. Everything was red hot and Reiner’s fingers were livewires. But it was the heat inside of him that would end him. After 17 years in a body that had felt nothing, it was impossible to contain this much feeling. His heart was going to detonate. He sunk his teeth into the blonde’s shoulder, inwardly apologizing for the gesture. Reiner roared and shoved Bertholdt to the bed, hiked his legs up so high that Bertholdt was practically off the mattress and shoved into him like he was trying to push every bit of his huge body inside of him.

Bertholdt couldn’t see. His vision was too red and his cries were too high and fast. He wasn’t getting in air because there wasn’t enough space between his moans to suck any in, but it didn’t matter because he wasn’t going to last like this anyway. He wouldn’t last even ten seconds. He was going to be blown to smithereens.

“Rei--!”

He wasn’t sure if the man heard him because he didn’t sound human anymore—just a tight body wound crazily with desire—but he must have responded to something in the tone because his hands became super tight supports, and now Bertholdt really was off the bed and completely in Reiner’s arms. Their chests were crushed together and he could feel Reiner’s heart hammering madly against his own as he said, “Me too. Gonna come too. Can’t hold back. Not when it’s with you.”

Bertholdt’s vision went from red to white as the pleasure became light so hot it overloaded every circuit. His organ was sandwiched between their stomachs as he came, the friction from Reiner’s abs the last straw he wasn’t meant to handle. The cry that came with him was more vulnerable than humans were meant to show. It was stripped bare of every barrier a person could put up. But Reiner had heard that cry before even if it hadn’t been in this world. It had been a very long time since Bertholdt had been afraid to show the man anything even if it came from the darkest and most animalistic part of his being. Reiner came too, he with a roar very much like the cry of his Titan form. The only thing missing was the fire from his mouth, but even that Bertholdt felt he could feel, even if he couldn’t see it, as the man pulsed into him, finally filling him after all this time. Filling that empty space Bertholdt’s body hadn’t been able to fill without his memories—without Reiner. Despite his dizzy ecstasy Bertholdt managed a mischievous smile. The condom must have broken. He’d won after all.

Reiner collapsed on top of Bertholdt, his heavy weight both familiar and comforting. They kissed, even though both were too breathless for anything sophisticated. Neither were feeling sophisticated. Bertholdt felt like all of his skin had been stripped off to leave him raw and transparent, but he wasn’t bleeding. He was healed, not wounded. Whole, not broken. Of course he was. He was with Reiner.

Bertholdt’s fingers curled around the man’s hips, his racing heart coming down from its breakneck high. His limbs weighed twice as much as they had when they’d started. Even if he’d wanted to move he couldn’t have.

“You okay, Bertl?” Reiner whispered. “Did I hurt…?”

“Never gonna move again,” he mumbled thickly. “Perfect now.”

Reiner pushed himself up onto his forearms, but Bertholdt managed to curl himself into the man’s body space anyway.

“So glad I…” his mouth cracked wide in a yawn. “…decided to take that bus today.”

Reiner’s hand touched Bertholdt’s hair. “Hey. You falling asleep on me, baby?” He laid down on his side and pulled Bertholdt to him securely. Bertholdt’s head was pressed to the man’s chest where he could hear the steadying heartbeat pulse into him.

“Stupid body not…used to you…yet.” Bertholdt’s legs were tangled with Reiner’s just as they were supposed to be. His mind was thick warm syrup. “Your arms are safer than…anything in the world. Want to spend…eternity…in them.” By now his lips were pressed to the man’s chest and his words were nothing more than incoherent mumbles. His eyes were closed and everything was warm fuzz like dryer lint. The arms around him got a little tighter. He let out a happy sigh.

“You are, without a doubt, the most perfect creature to ever come into existence,” Reiner told him. Bertholdt didn’t really hear the words. He was past the stage of processing things. But he did recognize the rumbling deepness that was Reiner’s voice and it put a tender smile on his lips.

“Ten minutes…just ten and I’ll…again we can…do it…again…”

Bertholdt didn’t even feel his own body anymore, but he could still feel those arms and those warm hands that guaranteed safety.

“Annie’s going to kill me…” Reiner said, but he didn’t sound too worried about it. Definitely not enough to make him move.

The last thing Bertholdt felt before he drifted off was the feel of lips in his hair. He didn’t know it yet, but it was those same lips that would wake him up later after those familiar strong arms had carried him down to a bed in a new apartment that would become his for a very long time. Even in his sleep he smiled.

\--

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I finally, finally finished this today and I'm so happy to have gotten more reibert out of myself. This pairing, of course, will be the death of me. It's pretty porny, I admit, but hopefully that won't be too hard for you readers to bear.


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